Nobody's Perfect

Nobody’s perfect. I mean we all know that this is true somewhere deep in our hearts underneath all of the criticizing, finger pointing, judgment of others, judgment of ourselves, asking ourselves over and over, “How can so and so do that?”  Or “Why do they always do this?" Then we have self-ridicule; Asking ourselves “I know there is a better way, but still, I insist on continuing doing something that I know doesn’t work for me?”  The answer to these actions? None of us are perfect. No athlete, no celebrity, your parents, your best friend, your spouse, your dog, politicians, religious leaders and especially you – nobody gets off being perfect. So why do we sit in so much judgment of not only others but of ourselves?

And man do we get set up, almost forcing us to be judgmental. Let’s take the news. Don’t they love a fall guy? On the news of late has been Lance Armstrong and if not him some football player who’s name I can’t remember because well, I don’t really care that much about sports. I watch these stories unfold….the news reporters begin gunning for these people, backing them into a corner and kapow!!!! – we get a confession. Then we humans begin weighing in on these total strangers until every single good thing that this person has done in their lives has now been reduced to one act of poor judgment. We ask in our judgmental way, “Why don’t they tell the truth right from the start?" I say how about asking yourself with complete honesty, would you? Really? When everything you worked your entire life for is now going to be jeopardized, would you run to the press and blab your sins. I don’t know if I would. I think the fear of public persecution would certainly slow me down on the way to the finish line of truth.

But I don’t sit on a world stage and yet, I too face judgmental friends and acquaintances. Even though I now live a long awaited quiet way of life and do what I need to do to get through the day. As simple as that sounds, it can be quite challenging for me. I am a hopeless rule breaker, don’t agree with much that is going on around me, free spirited, daydreamer, very creative and have physical limitations. That all adds up to the fact that I am going to hurt people’s feelings (non-intentionally), seem flaky to some, irresponsible to others, and ornery to those closest to me. On top of that I am in my 60’s and don’t want to waste the few brain cells that I have left on spending time with people and in places that don’t serve moving forward in a positive way. So you see, in the framework of many of my flaws, I often don’t get it right in other people’s eyes. But worse of all, many times, I don’t get it right in mine.

“Where guilt and judgment exists, the Light cannot dwell.”

But to my credit I do have to say that most of the time that when I begin going into the judging others mode, I usually, not always, stop and think, have I done that? And I believe that if I truly know myself, probably have done the very thing I am criticizing or I can at least understand how - given the same circumstances would have done the same.  (This is something that actors explore when doing their work). I constantly work on not feeling this way because it feels icky to pass judgment or be angry, kind of like walking through mud. And it doesn’t feel any better when judging oneself. It must be because where guilt and judgment exists, the Light cannot dwell. I think that I forget the rule of “If I’m not behaving in accordance with the Light then I’m not showing love, compassion and understanding."

On this spiritual path, we try to be better versions of ourselves every day, but all of us have moments where we fall and find ourselves right back in old destructive patterns. The secret is that it’s not about how many times we fall, it’s about how many times we get back up. And if we are lucky, we might even get back up quicker because if you can spend less time, living in the negative field of judgment, you can get to the light just a little bit quicker. After all, if you are walking through hell, don’t stop, but some of us actually pack a lunch and have a picnic despite the heat. It’s uncomfortable to not get it right, yes, but If we live by the divine reality that everything in our lives is from the Divine and the Divine thinks we are perfect than this has to include our failures and foibles. Even when I am being totally irresponsible, there is Light waiting to be revealed and lessons to be learned.

And frankly, when I am the least perfect is when the lessons are the biggest. And, as my friend Johnny B says, “Hopefully as we grow older our lessons are getting bigger because we are getting bigger.”

The problem is that when we fall, it’s easier for us to get wrapped up in feelings of shame and feeling bad, than it is to learn the lesson. The guilt trip, only services all that is dark, taking us in the opposite direction of the Light. No one and I mean no one benefits from feeling the pressure to be perfect. Are we perfect in God’s eyes? Yes. Is our Ego a bit messy? Yep, you bet! Is it supposed to be that way? Of course! We have come into the physical body to experience these difficult lessons. Can’t do that when you are floating around in spirit riding a cloud into infinity, nope, got to have Mr. Ego along for the ride. The body and the ego are the duo of challenges. This challenge pattern, sticks like glue. Complete freedom from ego comes at a very high station of spiritual development which means the gift of awareness and then a lot of hard work. Seeing and letting go can only work insofar as we are able to see, picking away at the psyche like layers of an onion. Then as the awareness increases these efforts may include grappling with the hugeness of the ego. But the good news is that by doing the work we create the energy for seeing more. Only we must not have the idea that such struggles will, by themselves, reform us into our idea of perfection. We get to become aware of our imperfections leading us to liberation: liberation from the illusion of the ego and into the freedom of the singular – the collective soul. In other words, Love.