Monday, January 14, 2013

From Happiness to Joy - A Long Road


As I come to the end of this chaotic week and coincidentally the beginning of a year that will have its share of chaos as we shift into what is next, I realize that once again, my work is never done. I am casting an eye within the internal sea of emotions, only to have that eye covered with a patch worn by Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean. In other words, I am still figuring things out as I am wondering how and why I get so caught up in life! Though I don't have the answer, yet, it's close to the surface but still without the revelation. What I do know is that I let someone else's actions affect how I react and it affected me deeply. I find it all pretty funny, as I was freely handing out advice about the difference between happy and joy along with the amount of time it takes to do the work, which by the way, would be a lifetime.

As I reread the letter I sent to a friend, I see how I too, can let something or someone disturb the joy that I had hoped I have. But life's events show me, that there are still "happy" band aids on old wounds that never quite get healed as life continues to pick away at the ancient scabs. All of it leaving me with damn, "Where is that deep profound belief system I thought I had in place?" Then a moment of clarity - "Yes, yes, I get it, it's a process." And what a process it is.  

Spiritual development and its evolution is not just a process but a slow journey.   

It goes through distinct stages and in each stage, how we operate in the world appears different. How life appears to us seems dependent on where we are placed while experiencing our experiences. The view is dependent on where we stand. If I am in management I will look at things from a particular perspective, as an employee from another, as a human being standing in individuality another way and finally as a human standing in the collective, yet another. These placements of the psyche are what give the various scenarios their
meanings. Then add different levels of spiritual development and the world continues to morph always appearing different. But all of them affect and color the experience as we walk down the path.

Unfortunately, many of us get stuck at the age of innocence when we believed that everything would be perfect. When you are a child, you take it for granted that everybody exists only to fulfill your needs, whims and fancies. A child takes it as a right that when he cries at night somebody will come and attend to the problem.  As adults while holding on to our childlike desires we expect to be taken care of and loved - always wanting somebody to do something. The government should do this , the teachers should do that, the neighbors should be this. Everybody should do everything so that I will live a happy life. When we finally move into a more spiritual point of view we have the same relationship with God. We look upon Him as some kind of Santa Claus whose primary function is to grant wishes. The age of disillusionment is when we find out that life is not perfect and things are inherently flawed. The child grows up and faces the reality that he is not the center of the universe and for the most part the universe doesn't know he exists or is indifferent to his existence. This is the pain of adolescence and when we break away from the old paradigm of "I deserve to be happy."

Along with all of the natural growth of our psyche we are sold a rotten bill of goods called happiness which is a man made construct designed, packaged and sold by Hollywood and Ad companies.  

Don't you have a girlfriend yet? Wow, you're a loser. Don't you fit in because you are a little bit different? Well, then try this - work out; dye your hair; join this religion; belong to this peer group; eat this; drink that; wear this fashion designer; if you only had longer lashes; a perfect body; clear skin, if only you were famous. But what all of these empty promises have in common is that they come from something that humans created to take advantage of other human beings, leaving us with wanting.  Wanting to be "happy" is a losing battle from beginning to end, because for one moment you can be happy and the minute something happens that doesn't go along with your interpretation of happiness, it's gone in seconds. And let us not forget that happiness, sadness, loneliness are just emotions that give us information about who we are and where we are at the present time - not something to act on. And frankly, being a victim, I found, was gut wrenchingly boring.

So what do we do instead? This is a longer road. What humans are meant to do is spend a lifetime searching for and finding "joy." Or maybe not look for it at all and just "be".  But whatever the solution, joy is a more divine emotional construct than the man made happy. Joy is something that comes from a fulfillment of being connected to something larger than oneself. If it's not God, than maybe it may by the process of creation as an artist, or nature, or service work to others - but it has to be something that is larger than the individual. If we are living in the world of "what about me" and "how come I can't have what I want," we are truly doomed. Questions that are to be asked are "How can I be of service to others?" What is my purpose in life? What is in my highest good? "How am I needed in the largest capacity to do some good on this planet?" One of my biggest revelations I had after years of looking for quick fixes, was when one day I asked the question, "Why can't I get what I deserve?"  The answer, "You  don't deserve anything, it all has to be earned."

I've never felt like I fit in because I don't. A lot of us feel that way. But that is to our advantage.
 
We get to see things from a different perspective. Even though at a young age it feels like a curse, it is a gift. Something we signed up for before we entered our bodies to learn specific divine lessons. We are participants, not victims. This is when love begins to be universal, when there is complete identification. People are no more my brothers and sisters, they are me and I and they are one. My Self is the Self in all. Enlightenment sees only the one, the non-dual. It is the culmination of spiritual growth, the state of a Krishna or Rama, a Buddha or Christ, a Mahavir or Mohammed. It is the blessed state of self-realization, the state of complete knowledge. Once this is achieved, the joy remains intact no matter what the outside stimuli. We are finally in a place where we can be in joy no matter what is happening. Life will continue to happen but maybe if we are lucky by this time we have fallen in love with the journey welcoming life's daily struggles. After all, there is always the constant underpinning of the never-ending, irreplaceable, gift of divine support and love from something that can only be found within - the piece of the collective that I call God.

From my garden to yours.......

Welcome Winter

 

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